Winter

Yikes, it's cold here. I'm told that the wind is blowing straight from Siberia. My priority at the moment is to keep warm and find suitable spots in the house in which to do so.

Tips for finding the best spot in the house:

1. Know your pipelines. Beneath the floor runs a convenient hot water system and in combination with the softer patches of carpet, the rising warm air can be most soothing to the stomach.

2. Balance this with avoiding draughts. These come from doorways, cat flaps, people going in and out through the front door...

3. Naturally the music room is a no-no. Why Jess and Tom feel it necessary to make so much NOISE is beyond me. That squeaky thing Tom plays is the worst, even though it is so much smaller than the piano. The high frequencies do horrible things to my sharp feline ears. Therefore a spot must be found on the first floor, well away from source of sound.

4. One wants quiet, but equally one does not wish to miss out on the chance of extra food. If the spot is too secluded, They may forget about you, and you don't want that.

5. And finally, having exhausted the possibility of the bed, the blanket box, the kitchen chair and mouse-watching in the bathroom (still no sign of it, by the way), I have hit upon the perfect compromise: half way up the stairs. They can't understand this. But They wouldn't, would they?